My First Resolution

My first resolution--
hanging onto her childhood emblem,
Gwen! You spoke sweetly in her teenage ear,
like Ivan's dream,
You were the devil in black sheets,
whispering inklings of death.
In the house,
a sword was discovered
and it was wondered how long ago the rust
began to climb,
Or if it was used to murder union soldiers.
Here in the south,
we lie scortched under clear skies.
How easy it was to be someone else!
How the stage was home--escape from reality,
the two pillars where I'd wrap my arms around
to feel comfort on their ivory torso.
Mother! Mother! Why the tears?
Will she be sent off?
Mother! Where is the key?
We are famished again.
And Father snores loudly
from his poisoned liver.

My first resolution--
shrieking glass from the cupboard door.
There were plenty of times I could
have killed her.
Foil halo around her crown,
Shoving tissue between the spaces of our rooms;
Up, down, up down,
all those steps
keeping the ring black
until it was consumed by the drain.
Hearing the infant wail,
and the adults scream.
In just two years,
the cycle of life was expedited.
In just two years,
the flowers I left out were
sought for mourning.